


What Lies Between

by medusa20



Category: The Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M, mature content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 23:36:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medusa20/pseuds/medusa20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A voyeur and an exhibitionist- a typical love story</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fanmix! [What Lies Between - The Twisted Mix](http://trippy41.livejournal.com/74318.html)

_Come to my window_

_-Melissa Ethridge_

Ch 1

"Who's that?" Penny nudges Bernadette as the tall man in a rainbow hued outfit sits down at her table.

Bernadette looks up, "Oh, that's Sheldon. He comes here every Tuesday, always sits at that table and always orders the same thing."

"Oh yeah?" Penny scratches an itch on the back of her calf. "You guys couldn't pool your tips to buy him pants that didn't make the other customers lose their appetites?"

"Oh, Penny. You are such a hoot!" Bernadette squeals. "Now, go take his order."

"Why don't you just tell me what it is and I'll bring it out to him."

"Sheldon always orders a barbecue bacon cheeseburger with cheese, bacon and barbecue sauce on the side." Bernadette recites automatically. "Oh, and a lemonade."

"Wait, that's just a ..." Penny begins to protest but Bernadette interrupts her.

"That's the order, Penny and, if you are smart, you'll bring it to him exactly as he asks."

XXXX

Penny's doorbell rings and rings. "I'm coming!" She yells, wrapping her hair in a towel. She looks through the peephole and her shoulders slump.

"Good morning, Mrs. Gundersun. Horace." Penny greets her elderly neighbor and the massive dog at her side. Horace bares his teeth.

Mrs. Gundersun lives in the fourth house on the cul-de-sac. She is the neighborhood busybody and self-proclaimed grounds keeper. Penny's mother told her a nosy neighbor is good protection especially for a single girl. Penny doesn't mind the old lady with her collection of floral baseball caps. Horace is another story. He is Mrs. Gundersun's constant companion - a cross between Great Dane, Clydesdale and demon from Hell. The first few weeks after she moved in, he chased her home every night.

"Penny, I want you to know Horace chased a deviant out of the woods behind your house last night at nine PM." The woman's bright coral lips shrivel into a bow and she gives Horace's choke chain an affectionate tug.

_Poor bastard._ Though, Mrs. Gundersun's words need to be taken seriously. "What was he doing?" Penny asks.

"Not much," Mrs. Gundersun concedes. "Just standing there as if he was lost. I was going to ask him that when I noticed what he could see. He was standing so he had a view of your bedroom window. You had actually just turned off the light." Penny's hand flies to her mouth in horror.

"Don't worry, dear. Horace gave him what for. I never saw anyone run so fast."

Penny shivers - Horace could cure the lame if he started chasing them. She thought about the trees that framed the cul-de-sac. They could hardly be called 'woods'- more like an attempt to muffle the sound of the highway. Penny could see the cars through them and there was a path people walked all hours, apparently. She'd have to get a security system because she is definitely not getting her own Horace. The dog yawns revealing row after row of pointed teeth and a savage black tongue. Penny gives another shudder.

"What did he look like? Should I call the police if I see him?" Penny wonders.

"I don't think he'll be back," Mrs. Gundersun adjusts her cap covered in bright red hibiscus. "I told him I'd call the police if I saw him again after I let Horace use his nether regions for a chew toy."

Okay. This conversation needed to end soon. "Still, I think you should describe him to me, you know, in case I see him," Penny prompts.

"It was dark, " her neighbor muses. "He was very tall and _thin_! I thought he was a birch tree for a second. Had on a beige windbreaker and blue eyes."

Penny feels ice water travel down her spine. That sounds just like that whack-a-doodle she waited on last week.

"Thank you , Mrs. Gunderson. I'll keep an eye out and everything locked."

"Good for you, Penny. Would you like to keep Horace for a few days since he has the scent?" Horace is growling in the back of his throat. At his owner's words, he gives his chops a lick as if Penny inspires his appetite.

"NO! I mean, no thank you." Penny smiles as she closes the door and slides the deadbolt. She pads down the hall to get dressed in her uniform. When that freak shows up tonight, he'll wish Horace did catch him.

XXXX

Sheldon's order lands unceremoniously in front of him. The cheese slides to the edge of the plate, barbecue sauce sloshes onto the bread and the bacon leaps to the table. There are exactly three French fries on the plate. When he looks up, Penny is fuming at the side of the table.

"What are you, some kind of sicko?" She hisses right in his face. Her breath is warm and minty. She slams his glass of lemonade down.

"I see you've spoken to that crone in the floral cap." Sheldon says calmly. "Does she have a permit to own that hellhound?"

Penny blinks at the paraphrasing of her own private description of Horace. "Look, Sheldon, you don't want to mess with me. Or Horace, actually - he eats mailmen as a snack."

"I believe it," he snorts.

"What is wrong with you? Skulking around the woods at night! Spying on me. I'm pretty sure that's illegal?"

"You are correct." Sheldon replies as he begins assembling his hamburger. "I was completely out of line. Quite frankly, I don't know what came over me. It is a definite aberration to my scheduled routine."

He looks truly contrite but, then, Ted Bundy also managed to appear helpless, Penny thinks. She did remember Bernadette saying Sheldon had three very close friends at one time but they all had a terrible falling out. Her anger and shock at his peeking lowers from full boil to a simmer. "Sheldon, just stay away from my house. We can talk here if you want but no more hiding in the woods, okay?" Penny's brain argues that she should have dumped his food on his head and filed a police report but those notions are being shouted down by her instincts - she always trusted her gut which is now telling her that Sheldon is harmless. Misguided, kinda strange, but harmless.

Sheldon finally has the cheeseburger assembled to his specifications. He has heard everything Penny said. If he were open to having friends again, he would accept her offer to talk here, perhaps even walk her to her car after her shift. He could establish a new social circle with Penny but the betrayal by Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrappali in the Arctic still brings tears to his eyes. He looks up at Penny - there is an air about her that calls to him. Sheldon is afraid any further interactions with her will result in more than just his heart being broken. The actions of his former friends proved he could survive that but not much more.

"No more lurking." He promises and Penny rewards him with a smile. He opens his mouth to take a bite when Penny suddenly yanks away the plate, lemonade and his perfectly balanced burger.

"What are you doing?" Sheldon roars.

She doesn't bat an eye at his rage, "Trust me. You don't want to eat this."

XXXX

_You promised, you promised, you promised_. The beautiful mind of Dr. Sheldon Cooper taunts him as he walks down Rosemont Street. He managed to keep his promise to Penny for two weeks. Then, Sheldon inadvertently ran into Leonard in the men's room. His former roommate was coming in while Sheldon was washing his hands.

"Hi." Leonard said. Sheldon gave him an icy eyeball in the mirror. "Do you want to have lunch with us?" He continued. Leonard hoped everyday that Sheldon would come around but his hope was fading as they approached the two year mark. He had moved out of 2311 Los Robles, hoping distance would help; he tried to open communication via email but Sheldon blocked him; he tried phone calls but Sheldon screened them. Finally, Leonard resorted to visits to Sheldon's office until one slammed door too many broke his glasses. Sheldon dried his hands and walked out without a word to his former best friend. Nevertheless, he was shaking by the time he reached his office. His hands rummaged through his drawers until they came across a final unopened package of Red Vines but gnawing on the candy failed to deaden the rage (sadness) that boiled in him whenever he saw or thought of Leonard.

His routine suffered further disruption when he found out that Penny was not at work. Sheldon assumed he had adjusted to life on his own but human beings are primates. Primates have evolved to live in groups, both for protection and support. He had been looking forward to seeing Penny at the restaurant. She would ask him what was new and he would rattle off the latest scientific advancement (hopefully, one of his own). She would roll her eyes and get his cheeseburger and his lemonade - which she now decorated with a little sprig of mint (reminded him of Meemaw's ice tea in July). It was all the interaction he needed.

Bernadette ends up being his server and she knows science so the conversation actually moves forward but it is more fun telling his factoids to Penny because…well…it allows him to show off.

"Is Penny sick?" He grills Bernadette.

"I don't think so, Sheldon. She just took today off."

"When will she be back? Is this a temporary or permanent schedule change? Why wasn't I informed? You could have sent a text."

Bernadette knows about Sheldon. She studies at Caltech and had dated Howard for a while.

"Sheldon," she uses her no-nonsense-from-toddlers voice, "Penny took today off. She will be at work tomorrow and that is all you need to know. Now, eat your cheeseburger and I'll see if I can hunt up some chocolate pudding for you."

During the entire bus ride after dinner, Sheldon tells himself that he is merely going to see if Penny was okay. He will walk quickly along the path to ensure the bedroom light is on. Under no circumstances will he stop to watch.

XXXX

Penny is damaged goods. The reflection in the mirror tells her. She can see it around her eyes. Too many wrong choices. Head cheerleader in high school but when her popularity began slipping, she went from head cheerleader to cheerleader who gives head. Hockey players have their "puck fucks" but Penny never learned the comparable term used by football players. Eventually, she became the girl who was passed around but not much more. She left Nebraska after graduation since she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with the leers and knowing glances of a small town.

She came to Hollywood, ready to be an actress. Except, blondes are a dime a dozen and Penny's only real talents weren't fit for the mass market. She ended up in the adult film industry. She was eighteen; it was demeaning, degrading but she was good at it and the offers came in. Penny was no Jenna Jamison but her corn-fed vigour had appeal and the money appealed to her. Six years of scripted sex and at twenty-four years old, Penny was done. Done with that taste in her mouth, the endless waxing and bleaching her hair to almost white.

The only luck she had was her lawyer and her broker. Basil, her financial advisor, never asked how a twenty year old had the money she did. Penny swore it was all legal and told Basil (at that time) he had six years to set her up for life. He did it in four. Now she owns this little one-story house on a cul-de-sac, an investment portfolio that is nothing to sneeze at and royalties every month due to her lawyer's negotiations. Penny is just thankful she didn't end up with herpes, a heroin addiction or in snuff films. Her job at the Cheesecake Factory is easy and gives her a way to occupy her days. She is not one to travel and prefers her quiet evenings at home. Sometimes though (like today), being nice and perky wears on her and that's when she takes her beat up car and drives until it runs out of gas or the 'check engine' light comes on again.

But the damage remains. She can't tolerate people touching her. She has no interest in dating since all men revert to their most basic desires and she has _done them all_. She doesn't know what will become of her. All she does know is multiple showers a day never make her feel clean enough and endless sucking on the strongest mints she can buy don't break through the film she swears is still on her tongue. Her hair is back to golden hues and her tan is natural not sprayed on but Penny knows about the deceptiveness of appearance and there isn't much below her surface. She picks up her hairbrush and draws it through her hair.


	2. Chapter 2

_Dangerous games we play_

_But you know I'm not afraid._

_\- Marilyn Martin_

Ch. 2

Sheldon counts the strokes-fifty. Penny avoids the cliché of one hundred strokes apparently. Her hair ripples in the soft light of the vanity table. Sheldon calculates the wave period as the light moves down the gold on her back. Penny didn't appear sick so her day off must have pertained to something else. He wonders why she stared in the mirror so long with such disappointment. The air around him is developing the bite of late evening. His windbreaker and the vision of Penny aren't enough to ward off the chill.

In the window, Penny weaves her fingers through her hair to cross sections over each other. Sheldon's pulse jumps. A double helix? A step closer reveals she is forming a loose braid but it is a fair resemblance to the model in his apartment. His apartment. Where he should be right now watching Star Trek instead of catching his death in a brace of trees so he can observe a woman whose very movements soothe him (Sheldon refuses to analyze what the flick of Penny's eyes do to him. He has decided it is early onset arrhythmia which will lead to an early death.). He should go. He promised her. As he turns to leave, Penny rises from her vanity table and pulls her shirt over her head.

Oh, dear Lord!

XXXX

The Cornhusker t-shirt almost reaches her knees. Her back muscles stretch with the release of her bra. Penny walks over to her window to pull down the shade. The moon is directly over her house so the back yard remains inky with night. She stares at the trees. Nothing. An enormous semi roars down the highway - its headlights throw the trees in relief. Penny's eyes look between the trunks.

"Son of a bitch!" She whispers before grabbing her baseball bat and running out in bare feet.

Sheldon is paralyzed by what he saw. Not the breasts or even that they are Penny's breasts. He is rendered immobile by the realization that he peeked. This was no longer harmless watching. He didn't quickly cover his eyes or recite Kepler's laws to distract himself. No, he stood in the dark and watched a woman undress. Good Lord, he even licked his lips!

Sheldon spins to the right then reverses just as quickly. He is spared broken ribs by his messenger bag which takes the brunt of the baseball bat's impact.

"Oof!' All his wind leaves him and he falls to his knees. Penny raises the bat over her head. She is going to knock him senseless and feed him to Horace.

"You goddamned…" She rages.

Sheldon covers his head with his hands. "Not my head, please!"

"What!"

"Break whatever you want - my shoulders, knees, arms but not my skull." One blue eye peers cautiously at her.

There is something about his eyes. Every time he orders from her or tells her that the Hadron Collider can re-create the Big Bang, Sheldon's eyes glue her tongue to the roof of her mouth. It's not that the color is a completely unnatural blue. Sheldon's eyes flicker like flame. They spark and dance and Penny believes it's because they reflect the constant firing of those neurons and synapse-y things he described once in the brain she was just about to splatter on a maple tree. Even in this non-light, his eyes are clearly visible. For the first time in forever, Penny wonders if they would close if he kissed her, would they burn trails over her body?

"Get up." She orders . Her voice is brusque to interrupt her thoughts. Sheldon looms over her.

"I am truly sorry. I take full responsibility…"

"Sheldon, what are you doing here?"

The physicist stops talking and pulls at a thread on the flap of his bag. "You weren't there to take my order tonight. Bernadette said you took the day off."

"That doesn't explain why you are here." Penny snaps.

"You weren't there…" "I know!" She throws her hands up. "I didn't take your order."

"No," Sheldon draws out the word, "just, you weren't there. What if you were sick?"

"You couldn't call?" Penny's feet are bare and cold. She is pretty sure a many legged unknown just crawled over her big toe and Sheldon cares if she is sick.

"I do not have your number and that would have been presumptuous."

Penny laughs at the absurdity. In that mind, it's okay to spy on her in the woods but a phone call goes completely against his moral code.

"Sheldon, you are a freakin' genius. You know where I live; I am sure you have my number." He draws a circle in the ground with his toe.

"Okay. Point." He sighs. "My routine was disrupted." Penny rolls her eyes. "You weren't there and I saw Leonard today."

Leonard? "Who's Leonard?"

Sheldon straightens his posture before answering. "Leonard was my best friend. He works at the university and he was my roommate for seven years until he betrayed me."

Betrayed him? Who talks like that? Bernadette did say that Sheldon did have a group of friends once.

"What did he do?" Her hand reaches out but Sheldon steps away.

"I prefer not to discuss it. Obviously, two upheavals in one day caused me severe emotional distress leading me to break my promise to you." He turns his eyes on her; they glow in the moonlight. "Seeing you," he swallows, "seeing you makes me feel better."

Penny's other hand still grips the bat. She can feel the tape around the handle in her palm. A crack appears in the armour - she can't do this.

"Why?" The question betrays her. Sheldon begins to walk away but the breeze pushes his words back to her.

"That is one of the few things I don't know."

XXXX

Tonight the house is too big which is ridiculous since it is only six rooms and a finished basement but Penny feels the emptiness. She pictures Sheldon in her kitchen, scooping ice cream while she curls on the couch. He would sit next to her and they wouldn't hold hands and they wouldn't share a blanket and it would be perfect.

XXXX

Sheldon loads HALO into his Xbox. He scrolls to his saved games but doesn't begin immediately like he always does. He sees the green spark of her eyes when she swung the bat. He is alone; she is alone. Fro the first time in his life, it occurs to him that there may be something inherently wrong with that.

XXXX

Penny has taken off her makeup. The shade on the window to her left is down but her eyes keep wandering to it like it will know to snap up if Sheldon is out there. Her fingers drum on the vanity top.

"This is crazy." She tells her reflection. If she wanted him here, it would have been easy enough. She knows all the tricks and there would definitely have been six foot two of male physicist sprawled in her bed now. Her stomach roils in revulsion at the thought of sex while warmth pulses between her legs at the thought of Sheldon. She stands from the table and snaps up the shade. Her eyes bore into the shadow of trees. Penny leans one hand, palm spread, against the glass and tries to separate the shadows.

The tingle in Sheldon's spine when the shade rockets up usually only comes when he catches a whiff of new comic books. Penny is braced against the glass. Her face is in shadow but he can see the perfect curve of her hip. He wants to write endless equations about the curves, slopes, hyperbola that comprise Penny. Automatically, he extends a long index finger to trace a simple formula in the air regarding the angle of her arm in relation to the glass. Sheldon realizes she is looking for him. One side of his mouth hooks into a smile. He steps just to the edge of the trees.

Penny has been staring so long there are soft grey dots whenever she blinks. She leans her forehead against the glass, the coolness is a sharp contrast to the flush of her face. When she looks up, Sheldon has materialized in the gloom. The smile comes unbidden to her face. He doesn't come any closer - he keeps the fifty feet from her window to the trees between them. Penny presses her hand against the glass. Sheldon gives her the Vulcan sign then dissolves into the dark.

XXXX

"Sheldon, are you there every night?" Penny asks the following Tuesday.

Sheldon places his cheeseburger down. He wipes his finger tips and takes a long swallow of lemonade. "I am there every night you are there." He admits quietly.

Penny works Tuesday and Thursday nights and every other Saturday. She remains standing by his table even though her manager is shooting her a nasty look.

"Does it disturb you to know I am there. Watching?" His eyes are baby wide; his piano fingers grip the napkin. Penny leans down and her lips almost (did) brush his ear.

"It disturbs me more when you aren't there."

That is the first night he walks her to her car.

XXXX

When her shift ends, Penny comes out of the restaurant and scowls at the pouring rain. Sheldon is leaning against the lamppost. He is dressed in a full-length yellow rain slicker and matching rain hat and holding an enormous umbrella.

"Well, if it isn't the Gorton's Fisherman." Penny crosses her arms. He blinks in confusion.

"Penny, it's Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper. I've come to walk you to your car."

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't the tiniest bit flattered and drawn in by his chivalry. They walk in silence until Penny asks, "Sheldon, are you lonely?"

"I am alone." He replies. "There is too much in this mind for me to ever feel truly lonely."

"Yeah, me , too." Penny agrees. "So, are we friends?"

"Friends?" Sheldon tastes the word then frowns as if he has found it offensive to his palate. "I had friends once. It didn't work out well."

The rain curtains them inside the umbrella. Sheldon takes the keys from her hand and opens the door. He takes great care to ensure he holds the umbrella correctly lest her seat get wet.

"Then we aren't friends, judging by the look on your face" Penny presses for clarification. Sheldon steps aside so she can enter her car.

"I am merely perplexed as to why you would want to classify this under such a meaningless word?"

He closes the door and waves her off.


	3. Chapter 3

_Like a stone I fall…_

_Deep into that mystery_

_David Grey_

Ch 3

Penny follows the map to the basement. There is only one door open in the hallway. Inside is a small man with curly hair pointing in every direction. He is layered in sweatshirts (Caltech must have a dress code that requires layers) and squinting through thick glasses at an apparatus on the table.

"Hi." She calls.

He jerks around and his eyes widen at the sight of her. Penny looks at herself - her jeans are low slung but the shirt covers all but a half inch of her stomach.

"Hi." He replies bemused by his good fortune that an attractive woman wanders into his lab.

"Hi." She repeats.

"Hi."

"Are you Leonard Hofstayder?" "Hofstader," he corrects and offers his hand.

When Penny searched the faculty of Caltech, she was relieved to see there was only one Leonard listed. She also spent some time reading Sheldon's bio and actually downloaded an article of his that he required for one of his courses. Penny made it through four sentences before she needed her dictionary. Armed with that, she slogged through three paragraphs before an ache developed around her eyes. She now understood why Sheldon had begged her not to hit him in the head.

Penny barely takes Leonard's hand and resists the urge to wipe her fingers on her jeans. "I'm .." Penny begins. What to say- 'Hi, I'm Sheldon's nine o'clock obsession?'

"I saw Sheldon last night and he seemed very upset." She finally says. "He mentioned you."

Leonard tilts his head and squints once more. "I'm sorry, when you say you saw Sheldon last night what exactly does that mean?"

She couldn't tell him the truth about the night in the woods or what Sheldon said when he walked her to the car. Penny offers the only plausible explanation, "I work at the Cheesecake Factory."

Understanding crosses Leonard's face. "Right. Yesterday was Tuesday," he mutters to himself. "If Sheldon is bothering you, the manager…"

"No. No, it's nothing like that." Penny assures him. "Sheldon mentioned you guys had been friends and I was wondering what happened."

Leonard sits on a nearby stool. A heavy sigh escapes him. "I've been trying to reconcile with him for almost two years now but I'm sure you realize how intractable he can be."

Penny nods, making a mental note to look up intractable later.

"Sheldon obsesses and perseverates on things. He can't see the forest for the trees."

A laugh bursts out of her mouth and she quickly swallows the next one.

"Why do you want to know?" Leonard crosses his arms.

Why did she want to know? Probably because she didn't want to see the ugly twist Sheldon's mouth became or the way the light in his eyes dimmed when he mentioned this guy ever again.

"We're friends." She tells Leonard although that had yet to be determined.

"Sheldon doesn't have friends." Leonard retorts. "At least, not anymore." Leonard then tells her about a research grant, three months in the Arctic, monopoles and keeping Sheldon happy, keeping Sheldon content, keeping Sheldon on schedule until that devolved into Leonard, Howard and Raj formulating numerous plans to kill him. It all ends with an electric can opener.

Penny listens to it trying to keep the shock out of her face. Scientists are no better than cheerleaders. Leonard was just a smarter version of Valerie Mossbocker, undermining Penny (Sheldon) every step of the way until she couldn't do anything but fulfill the reputation Valerie's rumors created.

"I told him to retract the email. We had all the original data. It was no big deal."

Penny shakes her head. Leonard said that to a man who considers an uneven amount of sesame seeds on his roll a big deal. Penny knew all about Sheldon's hunger for the Nobel - it was one of the first things he told her.

Leonard is looking at her now. His brown eyes are cocker spaniel soft. She knows that look. Already her skin is beginning to crawl. Leonard Hofstader wants to kiss her, touch her, lay his naked body on top of her. Bile clogs her throat.

"You're right, Leonard." Penny manages to choke out. "It was no big deal. All you did was lie to him, destroy his dream and make a fool out of him in front of the whole university." She backs to the door. Leonard follows.

"Penny, I'd like another chance to explain. Over dinner, maybe?"

"No thanks," Penny calls over her shoulder, "you are **so** not my type."

XXXX

Sheldon rounds the corner and stops. Penny is standing outside his office. Her hand is raised to knock. Sheldon's pulse starts to fluctuate. What is the protocol here? He bites his lip as her name tries to leap out of his mouth. Her jeans mold to her hips and calves and Sheldon leans back to take in all of her lower half. Great! Now he's leering again. He's no better than Howard. Penny still hasn't knocked. He could call out to her, invite her inside, show her his whiteboard. The conversation would flow easily and she would call him "a beautiful mind genius guy" again. He liked that a lot. Then, they could go to the cafeteria for some lime Jello. Why, he could even invite her to play HALO tonight. Quietly, he clears his throat in preparation to speak.

Penny might say no. She might be here to chastise him again. If he lets her in his life, that means he also has to let her _out._ As it stands now, watching her through the window is like admiring his comic figurines in their original boxes. Contained. Controlled. Captured.

He watches as Penny's hand uncurls. Her fingers reach out to trace each letter of his name on the doorplate. Sheldon closes his eyes, almost feeling those fingers on his face and across his lips. He doesn't say her name until she walks away

XXXX

On this particular Thursday, Penny hurries to cash out. In three weeks, Sheldon has walked her to her car six times - every Tuesday and Thursday. She leaves the restaurant and he is there against the same lamppost, with the same beige windbreaker (her grandfather has an identical one) and messenger bag slung across his chest and Penny's heart does the same two-step.

"Hello, " he says.

"Hi Sweetie." She smiles and they begin walking. "Do you know what I learned today?" Penny begins.

"No."

She pauses. It's been over a month and she is still adjusting to Sheldon's literal conversation style.

"Well, there are two types of dark matter. Baryonic and non-Baryonic and non-Baryonic can be classified as either hot or cold depending on its speed." She waits for his reaction and it is not long in coming.

"Penny!" Sheldon's surprise is apparent. "That is from an article I published last month. You understood it?"

"Only the first page," She admits. "that is an improvement. Last time I read something of yours, I only made it through three paragraphs."

"Impressive." And the tilt of his smile makes her blush. The silence is charged yet comfortable and easy between them.

"It occurs to me," Sheldon's voice makes her jump. "Every time, I walk you to your car, the distance from the restaurant to your vehicle increases exponentially."

Penny says nothing but the knuckle of her middle finger brushes the back of his hand. Sheldon jerks it away slightly.

"What's new in your life?" Penny asks as though Sheldon's index finger hasn't just stroked hers.

"I have a new cereal - Quaker Oatmeal Squares. I highly recommend it." His fingers have slipped between hers only to pull free again. Penny's car is in view.

Disappointment pools in her stomach; she won't see him until tomorrow night. These walks, his meal on Tuesday and his nightly visits aren't enough anymore.

"Dr. Cooper, are you trying to hold my hand?" Penny teases.

"Good Lord, No!' Sheldon yelps as if Penny just asked him to lick the bottom of his shoe and he blushes.

Penny doesn't know what she is feeling. Sheldon's brief touches tonight terrify and thrill her. She doesn't want the contact - holding hands leads to more touching which leads to kissing, petting and finally…she shudders.

"I find human touch horrifying as well." Sheldon offers. "As an infant, I was only content when I was not being held. My mother tried infant massage on me and I, quote, screamed the numbers off the clock."

"You don't mind then?" Penny's eyes are full of wonder. This is the first man she's met whose sole goal is **not** to touch her.

Sheldon leans against her car, arms crossed. "Not at all. In fact, I endorse it wholeheartedly. Though, " His voice drops an octave, "Of late, I have found that while most physical contact is repulsive to me, I…" He looks away from her. Penny steps right up to him.

"Yes?" Her knees turn to water as Sheldon's eyes walk softly over her face and body.

"I desperately want to touch you." It is such a low whisper she almost doesn't catch the words.

"Sheldon," Penny says wishing there was some way to comfort him.

"I know - it's a foolish notion. Forgive me." He slides away from her and opens the car door. Penny climbs inside.

"Sheldon, do you…" Penny pats the empty passenger seat.

"Good night Penny. Drive safely."

She watches his diminishing figure in her rearview mirror as she drives. His back is hunched forward and his steps are slow. Both of them are going in the wrong direction.

XXXX

There is an email waiting for him when he comes back from lunch on Friday. The sender is "penny blossoms" and there is an attachment. When Sheldon opens it, he spits Mountain Dew all over his afternoon lecture notes.

It is a cropped photo but he knows instantly that it is Penny. He can only see her mouth and her body - a body in a black satin baby doll. The message is just as simple:

_I am going to wear this tonight._

Sheldon's reply is just as pithy: _I prefer the Cornhusker t-shirt._


	4. Chapter 4

_You are digging for the answers_

_Until your fingers bleed_

_To satisfy the hunger_

_To satiate the need_

_-Melissa Etheridge_

Ch 4

Bernadette pulls Penny aside as she is re-pouring Sheldon's lemonade. He is moody and snappish tonight. Nothing is to his satisfaction. Just now, he informed her that the lemonade lacked the proper acidic bite and a two percent increase of lemon juice to the original solution in his glass should suffice. Penny politely asked how the fuck was she supposed to measure two percent of a lemon. Sheldon appeared nonplussed by her profanity but sighed heavily at her apparent stupidity.

"Penny, a quarter slice of lemon squeezed directly into the glass will do." She snatches the glass off the table and stalks over to the bar. For the first time, she wishes she had turned him over to Bernadette.

"What is going on with you two?" Bernadette whispers as Penny sees Sheldon spit out a mouthful of cheeseburger then swivel around to locate her.

"Sheldon has a bug up his ass." Penny comments putting crushed ice (not cubes) into the glass and adding a mint sprig with three leaves (not two). Sheldon has a thing for the number three - he recently upgraded to three strips of bacon on the side.

"No, Penny, I meant what is going on between you two. You've both been barking at each other all night"

Penny shakes her head, "Nothing, Bernadette. Really." She snorts a the truth of her words. Sheldon has flung his napkin on the table. She knows in another minute, he'll go stomping straight into the kitchen - employees only sign be damned.

"I gotta stop him before someone in the kitchen kills him with a meat cleaver." Penny yanks free and scurries over to the physicist who has just risen from his table.

"It's about time." Sheldon sneers at her.

"Watch it, Sheldon. I'm getting pretty fed up with you tonight and I am the one who handles your food."

"Don't expect a good tip,' He sniffs. "Service tonight has been sub-par."

Penny's anger burns in her chest, "Oh, I'm sorry. Are your needs not being met (hers aren't, that's for sure), Mr. I-need-two percent-more lemon juice!" She pours the glass into his lap and begins to walk off but whirls around for one last shot at him.

"And don't you even think about…"

Sheldon holds up one hand while continuing to mop his lap with his napkin, "That's enough , Penny."

The utter authority in his voice stops her words. Her mouth closes. They are glaring at each other as the noises in the restaurant fade away. All that is left is the heat that has been building between them during these weeks. Penny swallows nervously but she can't look away. Sheldon takes his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes travel all over her. From the look in them, no one would ever guess he was staring at an exhausted waitress in a filthy, food splattered uniform. Penny gives a silent laugh. _So that's what he needs_.

XXXX

Wednesday night. Penny walks into her room. The shade near the vanity table is down. It is 8:58Pm. She makes sure the lamp is behind her to throw her shadow against the shade. Penny presses the button on her CD player and the sound of Nina Simone singing "He Needs Me" fills the room. Sheldon can see Penny's shadow against the shade. Her hair is piled on top of her head in a messy ponytail. His brows draw together in puzzlement and then the shade rolls slowly up.

Once Sheldon realizes what Penny is doing, he walks out from the shelter of the trees until he is five feet from her closed window. Penny's hands have loosened the top three buttons of the man's white dress shirt. Sheldon walks up to a tree and holds on to it for support, completely forgetting his squeamishness regarding the texture of tree bark He has never seen nor has he ever wanted to see Penny like this before but his eyes won't move from her undulating form in the window. The black garters holding up her thigh high stockings peek out from under the hem of the shirt. Penny rolls her hips slowly. She braces each arm on either side of the window and gradually winds down until she is eye level with him. The two of them share an identical smirk and Sheldon gives her the tiniest nod to continue

He pulls at the collar of his Batman shirt and purple undershirt and swallows. Penny has undone more buttons and a wide V of tan skin bisects the whiteness of the shirt. She moves to pull the shirt back from her shoulders when Sheldon puts a hand up for her to stop. Penny's eyes are wide and questioning. Sheldon narrows the distance between them to two feet. He twirls an index finger in a circle. Penny nods and rotates until her back is to him. She raises her arms which causes the shirt to slide up to her hips. Her pulse races when she hears Sheldon moan at the sight of the Superman insignia on her panties.

Penny runs her hands down the sides of her body and turns once more to face Sheldon. She has undone the last button of the shirt and it falls open , exposing her stomach and panties, but keeping her breasts covered. Sheldon has walked right up to the window; Penny kneels on the floor and throws it open. Instantly, he is assaulted by the soft wailing notes on the stereo, the smell of sex, the scent of Penny. His eyes can't seem to move from the damp spot at the center of her light blue panties.

"Sheldon, I want you." Penny whispers and she does. She who has had real and simulated graphic sex with some of the most gorgeous male bodies ever seen is trembling with desire for this skinny, fussy man who is shaking his head violently at her statement. Penny reaches out her left hand and grabs the back of Sheldon's head to pull him closer. Their foreheads touch. She runs her right hand up her thigh and slides it into her panties. Sheldon's eyes close and he strangles a noise in his throat.

"Watch me." Penny commands. "Isn't that what you like to do."

Sheldon opens his eyes. They are as dark as the night behind him and Penny feels herself falling into them even as her fingers work expertly on herself. The fact that Sheldon isn't breaking their gaze only increases her desire. Their breath comes in pants and gasps as Penny brings herself closer to the edge. Sheldon's arms are shaking with the effort of bracing himself in the window and his fingers bite into the sill.

"Sheldon…oh God!.. I…I" Penny's grip on his head tightens and unseen by her, his hips buck into the side of the house.

"Penny…Penny… Penny." His voice is low with a twang to it that she has never heard before but would give anything to hear again..

"Again!" She gasps as the tremors start to build. "Say my name again."

He does and the accent is even thicker this time.

"Oh God. Fuck. Sheldon." Penny moans as her orgasm ripples through her.

They stay in that awkward position - foreheads pressed together, both of them shaking from the exertion and emotion of what they have done. Penny's heart is pounding and no one she has ever been with has made her feel this way. **Ever**. Sheldon starts to pull back from her.

"I - you should go." They say in unison except Penny hasn't released the back of his head.

"Wait." She whispers quietly. Penny brings her right index finger up and slips it between Sheldon's slightly parted lips. His tongue curls around it, tasting her and he groans her name as he comes.

Penny continues to hold him until the tremors stop. Sheldon's breath is still shallow. Her left hand had traveled to his neck and the pulse under it is fluttering like a bird.

"Are you okay?" She whispers not wanting him to move from her; he nods and pushes back. This time, she lets him go.

"I'm afraid I don't know the social protocol here." Sheldon admits and grimaces at the front of his pants.

"Well, most guys just roll over and go to sleep." Penny says bluntly. "But you are not most guys and this is definitely not a typical encounter." Sheldon picks up his discarded messenger bag and arranges it strategically. When he does look at Penny again, his expression is soft and there is an authentic smile about his lips.

"I want you to know I'll never forget this, Penny."

"Oh, Sweetie, you don't have to say that…"

"I'm not." Sheldon protests. "I have an eidetic memory. I literally can't forget anything no matter how briefly I encounter it." His eyes skip around and his long fingers reach out just barely skimming the outline of her face. "You …" He flounders for words;.

Penny beckons him to her once more. She takes his face in her hands and leans in, stopping just before his lips. Their eyes meet and hold. Penny can see everything - all he wants to say, all the reasons why he won't say it, all that he feels for she knows her eyes are telegraphing the same messages. Sheldon's eyebrows lift just slightly to let her know he gets it.

"You." Penny whispers back.


	5. Chapter 5

_If this is all wrong_

_I don't want it right_

_'Cause you're the one sure thing_

_when I get lost…again_

_-Ice House_

Ch 5

In high school, it always amazed Penny how the cheering squad would spend weeks practicing a pyramid formation. The whistle would blow and they would scramble to build the layers with a pixie freshman on the top. Each practice saw a faster and faster assembly. They were flawless. Then competition day would arrive. Their routine would be executed. Time for formation but as the squad fell into place, someone's elbow would shake, a shoe would untie, a bug would land on a nose and down they would all tumble.

Things fall apart so easily.

Penny turns from the beverage station to see Sheldon's table is occupied by a party of three. No big deal. Sheldon only enters this place on a Tuesday. Last night, she crept out into the woods before he was due to arrive. She stood in his spot, trying to see what he saw, to understand the compulsion. All she realized was how much he had come to mean to her. He wasn't the only one who needed soothing.

Her pleasant smile fades when she realizes that it is Leonard and two other guys at the table. She hands them menus. Leonard looks up as if he is actually surprised to see her.

"Penny! What a surprise."

"Really? Because I work here." She retorts.

"This is Raj Koothrappali and Howard Wolowitz." Penny gives both of them a half-hearted smile; she remembers their names form the story Leonard told her. Raj gives her a shy wave but Howard is staring at her intently.

"Have we met before?"

Penny takes in his mustard yellow ensemble and wrinkles her nose. "I don't think so. Look, we are closing soon. What can I get you?"

"How've you been, Penny?" Leonard asks.

"Great! How about that order?"

"I know I have seen you before.' Howard is pointing a finger at her. "I never forget a face."

"I get that a lot." Penny replies though she is beginning to perspire. Howard bears an eerie resemblance to half the directors and writers she once worked with.

"I kept hoping you would come back to the university." Leonard smiles. "Our last meeting didn't go well."

Penny turns to Raj, "Would you like to order?" He only casts his eyes downward. She's had enough. Usually, she is cashing out now so that she can be ready to leave when Sheldon gets to the lamppost. Now she is stuck with a mute, a sleaze and a love sick scientist. A snap from Howard brings her back.

"You were in a movie."

"Please," she scoffs. "Who hasn't been in a movie in this town." Her manger whispers to her that they can only serve cheesecake now. "Guys, I'm sorry but all I can offer you now is dessert."

Several things happen at once. Howard's eyes light up and he crows, "That's it! That's where I've seen you!"

Leonard asks, "How's Sheldon?" and Raj squeaks and points over her shoulder. Penny turns to find Sheldon standing there. His face is a blaze of fury.

"What are you doing here?" He spits.

"Sheldon, buddy, come sit with us." Leonard calls just as Howard blurts, "She's the girl in the movies we watched in the Arctic."

A roar fills Penny's ears. She whips her head around to see if anyone else heard but Howard's shout went unnoticed.

"Leonard, you didn't tell us you met a porn star." Howard is so excited he can't stop talking. "Raj, remember, she was a stewardess and conducted a full body search?" His eyebrows wriggle and Penny feels faint. Raj jumps up and flees to the restrooms.

Howard faces Penny, "I love your 'body' of work." Penny feels the nausea rise. "The one where you are a farmer's daughter - we must have watched it a million times." She can't move. In her mind she is running out the door but somehow, she is still rooted to this spot.

"Sheldon, I seem to recall that movie was a favorite of yours." Howard points out. "Although you would know, eidetic memory and all."

Penny feels weak. She knows what eidetic means - he explained it to her after their night in the window. One look at Sheldon reveals his eye is twitching frantically. He knew! He knew who she was from day one.

"Is this true?" She asks him. Sheldon tries to hide his eye with his hand. "Sheldon! Answer me!"

"Ooh, that kitten has claws!" Howard mutters. Sheldon gives her a stiff nod; Penny's knees buckle.

"Oh, God." she moans. "And I thought…you never…it was all…"

"Penny," Sheldon looks close to tears. "I want you to know I never watched those films."

"C'mon, Sheldon," Leonard jeers. "We caught you peeking a few times. Don't play innocent."

Penny's eyes are wide and now people **are** starting to stare.

"Must you ruin everything in my life! The Nobel wasn't enough?" Sheldon hisses at them.

Penny unties her apron and throws it on the table, 'I have to get out of here." Sheldon moves to follow her.

"Penny." he touches her arm. Faster than she thought possible, she whirls around, punching him square in he nose. There is a sickening crack.

"I should have done that weeks ago." She says and leaves.

She can hear Sheldon running after her as she heads for her car.

"Penny!…Penny!…Penny!" He calls. She finally turns to look at him. His hair is windblown, one shoe lace is untied, flapping against the pavement as he runs. When he is close enough, she can see a smear of dries blood under his nose and across his cheek. Wow, he didn't even bother to clean up first!

Sheldon catches up to her and bends over to rest his hands on his knees as he catches his breath.

"I want you to know," he gasps with his head still down, "I never watched those movies."

Penny snorts in derision.

"It's true!" Sheldon looks up.

Once again, the words in her mouth are lost from the clarity of his eyes. _Damn them_.

"Penny, you know I have no interest in such things." She raises her eyebrows and Sheldon runs a hand through his hair.

"The night you stripped in the window, notwithstanding," He admits, "but that is exactly my point. I only saw _you._ I'm only interested in _you._ "

"Why? So you can say that you had sex with a porn star? Because that's what it was, Sheldon,- sex. You think 'friendship' is a meaningless word? There is nothing more meaningless than sex and no one knows that better than me." Penny blinks to hold in her tears. Sheldon cocks his head; his nose is starting to bleed again.

"Penny, I'd never done anything like that before. I never wanted to. It wasn't meaningless. Not for me."

She walks away before he can read the same statement in her eyes.

XXXX

Penny quits the Cheesecake Factory and puts her little house on the market. She had almost outrun her past here; she'll be able to do it again somewhere else. Bernadette calls to tell her they miss her and that Sheldon is actually even more insufferable than ever. Penny keeps the shade in her bedroom down.

A week later finds her packing up boxes in her bedroom, trying to get a jump on the hassle of moving. Her movements are slow - she's picked up and put down the same picture frame three times. Perhaps she was too hasty. She loves this little house and being a waitress at the restaurant was the type of job she needed. She glances at the covered window. Who is she kidding? It was Sheldon who made her happy, who made her feel like she mattered to someone, who made her feel like something to be treasured with his vigils in the woods.

"Penny?" Her realtor's cigarette voice calls from the front door.

"I'm in the bedroom."

Vera, the agent, comes in waving a sheaf of papers, "We got an offer, hon. Can you believe it? In this market? One week and a good, solid offer."

Penny takes the papers. The number is close to asking price. Not bad.

"Penny, dear, the buyer wants to know if there are always people in those woods behind your house and did you have any issues with privacy?"

Penny's ears perk up, "People? Privacy? What do you mean?"

"Well, I guess the buyers were scoping out the neighborhood. The husband spoke to that old lady with the dog and she told him there had been a guy hanging out there two months ago."

"Oh, he's gone." Penny says confidently.

Vera looks skeptical, "Well, the husband noticed a man in a beige jacket behind the house the other day. Apparently he has seen him before at other times of the day. Does he live around here?"

Penny's hand goes to her throat; her pulse is a bit erratic. Her agent doesn't notice since she is too busy scrolling through her Blackberry.

"I'm not selling." Penny says.

"What?" Now she has the woman's attention. "Penny, this is a great offer. You won't do any better."

Probably not but she isn't ready to walk away from a man who only wants what she is prepared to give. She shakes her head. She won't leave him. She's not everybody else.

XXXX

Sheldon Cooper is a creature of habit. Thai on Monday, Cheeseburger on Tuesday , HALO on Wednesday and so on. Now a new activity has been placed on the roster. He takes the bus and rides for twenty minutes. He walks down Sanborn Lane, turning right onto Rosemont Street. This brings him to the brush of trees that shield him from view of the house. He is always there by 9:00 PM. Lately, the shade has been down and the room dark but he can't bring himself to stop coming. Tonight, he sighs and turns to leave just as the lamp goes on.

Sheldon smiles .

9:00 PM,. Penny flicks on the light. She sits at the vanity table and shakes out her long blonde hair. Before she starts, she reaches over and rolls the shade up halfway. She begins to brush with long, even strokes right down to the tips. Penny knows he's out there even though she can't see him.

Both are fully aware forgiveness doesn't come easily.


End file.
